Monday, January 11, 2016

Week One Storytelling: The Haunted Barn

The Haunted Barn


           When parents at Forman Elementary School described Evan Chambers, it was always with the tone of disapproval. Teachers despised him for he was the biggest prankster in the Fourth Grade, in the whole school, really. His biggest prank to date was convincing all the boys on the playground that the dilapidated Barn at Old Man Steven's property was haunted. It wasn't hard, the structure has seen better days for its exterior's paint had become dingy and the old wooden planks were falling apart. After its owner's health decreased over the years, he was not able to take care of it. It was so unsafe, no one had been in it for years; it really should have been condemned a long time ago. Nonetheless, Little Evan scared the boys so badly, Mrs. Jones had to make an official complaint that her twin boys were having nightmares. If only the adults knew that they were not alone. 
      In an attempt to step it up a notch, Evan decided to convince the boys to visit this haunted barn. As Timmy, Johnny, and Evan were walking home from school down Little Elm Road, the Barn came into view. "I bet you my lunch tomorrow that you're too chicken to set foot in there," Evan said mischievously. The twins looked at each other wearily. Jimmy was the first to open his mouth, "Mama said that place ain't safe and if she ever found out we went in there she'd beat our bottoms red." A sly grin crept up Evan's face as he started flapping his arms and making chicken noises, "BAWK, BAWK, BAWK. The poor wittle babies are chickeeeeen!" 
         The boys went red in the face and huffed and puffed, as they pushed Evan aside determined to make their way to the barn, after all, they were NOT scared of anything. Evan waited for them to go a little way before stalking after them. The grass was pretty tall from the lack of maintenance, which worked to his advantage. He did not want the boys to hear or see him. Johnny and Timmy made their way to the half open barn doors. Timmy nodded at Johnny as a sign of continuing. There was no going back, they had to prove their bravery once and for all. They slowly made their way inside. As they looked around, they realized that there was no scary monster waiting to eat their souls like Evan described, there were only old bales of Hay and random pieces of equipment. The boys exhaled in relief as they high five and cheered in excitement.
        It was then that the barn door closed and the sound of someone beating on the walls of the barn. "The monster, the monster! Run!" Jimmy ran to the door, followed by his brother and screamed for dear life all the way down the field. Evan came rushing in as the boys left, making sure he wouldn't be seen if they dared looked back. He cackled and cackled and cackled. He cackled so hard he tired himself out on a bale of Hay. "This is too easy," he said to no one in particular. 
        "Hoo," it was a noise coming from the back. Evan's necked whipped around faster than the speed of light. "Hoo, Hoo." He was scared stiff even though his whole body wanted to run. His eyes were focused on the back of the barn. The lack of windows made it somewhat dim in the corner. He sat up, deciding on whether or not it was safe to investigate. But unfortunately for Evan the monster made up his mind for him. An image came shooting out of the corner and Evan ran out after the twins. "The monster can fly! The monster can fly!" In all actuality, the monster was only nothing but a wise owl, upset by all the noise that disturbed his sleep. Poor little Evan was never the same again.     
***

Authors Note: 
This story is based off of this nursery rhyme:

THERE was a little boy went into a barn,

And lay down on some hay;
An owl came out and flew about,
And the little boy ran away.



4 comments:

  1. Oooooh, Mary, the way you set up this first paragraph is perfect: you brought Evan to life right away, and then you also introduced us to the barn so that it is almost like a character itself. Super! And the BAWK BAWK BAWK sound effect adds a great touch of humor, along with the boys joking around until... the monster! A realistic one, not supernatural. And I love that you saved the nursery rhyme for the very end so we could see what a tiny little story you started from. You might add a few words to the note about how you got the idea to write about Evan and why you picked this particular rhyme. We have lots of owls where we live and I hear them at night... but I have yet to actually see one actually flying around! I'm kind of scared of birds in general, though, so I bet a owl with its big old gigantic wings and big eyes could scare me pretty good!

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  2. Hi again Mary!
    Your story was great to read because of how creative you were writing it. The ending was very good. I like how you built it up and it happened to just be an owl that scared him and changed his life forever. For the original rhyme compared to the story is amazing. The detail you put into the story is great. Great job!

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  3. Mary, you really outdid yourself. You have such a knack for telling a story. I was caught in the moment within the first paragraph. Evan got what he deserved in the end – poor little guy! I especially like how you were able to create such an imaginative story from the little nursery rhyme. You were able to give the simple rhyme such depth, and yet you kept its integrity.

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  4. I really like the way you built this story! The way it starts off with describing this mischievous prankster, and then transitions into the spookiness of the barn setting really grabbed my attention. I think Evan is a realistic character we can all imagine and immediately understand -- we've all known a little trouble-maker like that! The ending was just too funny, with the prankster undone by his own scheme.
    I agree that putting the nursery rhyme at the end was a great idea! It shows us how creative your original ideas are and wraps everything up in a cute summary.

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